Monday, November 14, 2005
Signs you've found a bad freelance project...
So let's see if we can find a few signs that the project you've been thinking about bidding on is a lemon.
Simple Project Syndrome
Well, for starters, there's the classic simple project syndrome. Usually, this manifests itself in the buyer severely underestimating the amount of work to be done. The buyer, in addition to believing that storks deliver babies, believes that Windows 3.1 was programmed by Bill Gates turning on a computer. Windows 95, which merited a multi-million dollar marketing spree, probably required a couple of mouse movements. Windows XP, Microsoft's most complex piece of software yet and clocking in at over 65,000,000 lines of code, was outsourced to India. For $10. You can spot these guys because within the first 5 words of the project description (perhaps the only 5 words) they'll say: "This is a simple project."
Brevity is the Soul of Success Syndrome
At the other end of the spectrum, we come across the grandiose dreamers. These people are going to change the world with their New and Improved Doohickey, damnit, and you're going to code it! Take this project description, for a Global Stock Exchange Trading Platform, budgeted at around $50,000:
Let's Build a Relationship Syndrome
In this category, we have the Daddy Warbuckses. Gosh, they're just looking for a bright, fresh vendor to do business with. And wouldn't you know it, they've got 80 (or some other random number -- who cares, talk to me about dollar-value, people!) more projects lined up for next Tuesday alone! And you can be the lucky guy doing them! Just do this one project, dirt cheap, so we can get a feel for how good of a fit you'd be with us.
Simple Project Syndrome
Well, for starters, there's the classic simple project syndrome. Usually, this manifests itself in the buyer severely underestimating the amount of work to be done. The buyer, in addition to believing that storks deliver babies, believes that Windows 3.1 was programmed by Bill Gates turning on a computer. Windows 95, which merited a multi-million dollar marketing spree, probably required a couple of mouse movements. Windows XP, Microsoft's most complex piece of software yet and clocking in at over 65,000,000 lines of code, was outsourced to India. For $10. You can spot these guys because within the first 5 words of the project description (perhaps the only 5 words) they'll say: "This is a simple project."
Brevity is the Soul of Success Syndrome
At the other end of the spectrum, we come across the grandiose dreamers. These people are going to change the world with their New and Improved Doohickey, damnit, and you're going to code it! Take this project description, for a Global Stock Exchange Trading Platform, budgeted at around $50,000:
I have a complex project that will need great skill and attention. I need a bid for a global stock exchange trading platform. Please base the bid on creating something like ameritrade, e-trade, etc, so that buy and sell orders are routed to broker/dealers, etc. I know you will have questions for me regarding this project so please submit them to me ASAP. I need to get a clear idea of what this will cost and in which timeframe it can be delivered.Oy. Wondering how to summarize a 500-page project specification? Use "etc". Twice.
Let's Build a Relationship Syndrome
In this category, we have the Daddy Warbuckses. Gosh, they're just looking for a bright, fresh vendor to do business with. And wouldn't you know it, they've got 80 (or some other random number -- who cares, talk to me about dollar-value, people!) more projects lined up for next Tuesday alone! And you can be the lucky guy doing them! Just do this one project, dirt cheap, so we can get a feel for how good of a fit you'd be with us.
